Congestion Port Mortem: Finding the Funny
Apr 8th, 2008 by Jervey
Leave it to Bike Snob NYC to bring a chuckle even in these trying time.
Some alternative fees proposed by the mysterious agent of cycling snobbery:
A Complex Schedule of Surcharges
In addition to the base fee for cars and trucks, I’d like to see the following additional fees tacked on:Vehicles with vanity plates: $2.00
Vehicles with vanity plates that simply re-iterate the make or model of the vehicle: $5.00
Vehicles with license plates from states that include their URL on the plate out of desperation because they’re “loser” states (I’m looking at you, Pennsylvania): $10.00
Any vehicle bearing a presidential campaign sticker: $1.50
Any vehicle bearing a presidential campaign sticker for an election that has already passed: $2.50
Any vehicle bearing a sticker or emblem espousing the driver’s religious beliefs: $5.00
Any vehicle whose driver must compulsively advertise his or her ownership of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle through the use of stickers, decals, license plate frames, or spare tire covers: $10.00
Any vehicle with an “Eddie Bauer” trim package: $50.00
Any Swedish or English vehicle: $15.00
Any vehicle with a roof rack that has provisions for hauling more than one type of outdoor recreational equipment: $5.00 per additional equipment mount
Any vehicle being operated in “manu-matic” or “dork” mode: $7.00
Escalade-Pushing Moto-tards: $125.00
He also calls for a ban on Fresh Direct double parking deliveries, which we firmly stand behind!